A Joke (Pun Intended)

My dad was inspired by my blog to write this joke.  Enjoy. (I've included some fun art pictures for those who don't enjoy a long story pun)

There once was a rancher who had a very large herd of prime cattle. He decided to take the herd to an auction since he had learned that there was a buyer there who had a great deal of money to buy prime beef. While driving his herd north, he discovered that he would need to go through a rather treacherous part of the country that was very swampy and filled with deceptively innocent looking tufts of grass called tushes. This is why that part of the country was called “The Tushers”. 

Stormy Swamp Print

Well, the rancher was not too worried since he had very experienced ranch hands, but what he did not know was that the ranch hands had never encountered tushes. As luck would have it, once they entered the Tushers, some of the cattle became scared, so the rancher decided to split the herd into three groups and drive them through the Tushers separately, one group to the west, one to the center and one to the east.

Miss January Painting

Interestingly, the density of tushes in the center (where the ground was somewhat higher and less swampy) was much easier for the cattle and they made it through with no problems. The cattle that went on the eastern and western route were, however, not so fortunate, and almost all of them got severely tangled in the tushes.

Vintage Cow Print

Not willing to lose almost 2/3 of his heard, the rancher entrusted his cattle that had made it through to a marching band of musicians who just happened to be passing in parade at that time. Since the band had stopped to rest, the rancher asked the band leader and his group of musicians to watch the cattle until he returned, a request to which they generously agreed. The rancher, thus comforted that his cattle would be well cared for, went back to find the lost cattle.

Sousaphone Scarf

By the time he found them, most of the cattle had become so entangled in the tushes that it was impossible to extract them and most were already dead. Sadly the rancher returned to his remaining herd only to find that the band had left, the cattle had hopelessly scattered and now were lost as well.

Young Rancher Print

Only to late did the rancher remember the words of his wise old father who had earlier told him that “a herd in the band is worth two in the tush.”

A Bird In The Hand Print